Here's an update about the situation with my 'sort of' job. I call it a 'sort of' job because by the explanation I received today -- I will not get to work a single day for at least 12-16 weeks.

Apparently teachers here need to get both a criminal records check and a vulnerable sector search. As far as I can tell, a vulnerable sector search is rather invasive so in order to have one performed, your employer must register with the various law enforcement agencies as an agency "worthy" of requiring this sort of check be completed.

The only police department that will perform any kind of records check for you is the department in the city in which you live.

I live in Toronto, thus I require this be performed by the Toronto Police.

My potential job is in Simcoe County -- 1 hour north of Toronto. The Simcoe County School District is not registered with the Toronto Police -- thus they will not perform the Vulnerable Sectors check for me.

Enter today:
A rep from the school board called me to inform me that they are in the process of "registering" with the Toronto Police. This process will take 6-8 weeks. I have two options:

1) Call every other law enforcement agency in Southern Ontario in the hopes of finding one that is lax in the rule of "I must live within their jurisdiction."

or

2) Phone the school board back in 6-8 weeks to find out if their registration went through and then go to the TO Police and have my check done which will take another 6-8 weeks.

Having called 4-5 other Police Departments, it has become apparent to me that I will not work for another 12-16 weeks (unless I get another job).

So in conclusion: I was informed of this job at the beginning of November and will start working at the start of May. Anyone who thinks Ontario is a great and efficient place to live should be shot. I hate that I am so bitter. I hate the kind of negative & cynical person I have become --- but COME ON... how much shit is one person supposed to endure?