Seen at Linda's Wedding:

Ross, friend of Tess, trying to gain acceptance into the Maciag clan.  At the wedding, your turn at the buffet line was selected by drawing a number.  Trying not to show his fear, Ross, steps up to his first test for our affection.  He draws the number 1 and is instantly accepted as our newest family member.  No further tests required.

Overheard in the buffet line at Linda's wedding:

Big Daddy Joe proclaims, "What is that???"  

Ross Maciag, the newest member of the family, proclaiming slightly astounded, "why Big Daddy Joe, I believe that is rice."

To which Momma Anna replies with a wheezy laugh, "oh Ross, he wouldn't recognize rice unless it had Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup on it!"

Overheard at the dinner table:

Big Daddy Joe:  "So I walked into the men's room and saw this seriously old man standing there and I thought, 'wow - look at that seriously old guy.'  Then I realized that I was looking at my own reflection in the mirror."

Seen and heard in my brother's room:

My mother trying  to cuddle with her eldest son.  Tim, being touch-a-phobic, proclaiming, "bubble, bubble," which roughly translates to, 'respect my space, woman.' 

My mom replying:

"Oh Tim, I birthed you buddy.  You've been places your feeble mind can't possibly imagine.  Get over it already."

Overheard in the Maciag kitchen:

Big Daddy Joe:

"Anna! (think "Wilma!")  "That was some weird pudding you put in my lunch today."  It wasn't pudding, it was yogurt.

This is a story about how I never take my share of the blame.  In this tale, there will be those that claim I am irresponsible and need to be more careful.  I, however, blame the chicken. 

The other day, I was visiting a friend who was trying to get back on Weight Watchers.   I was meeting Ms.X for supper and had assumed we would be venturing out for some relatively healthy food.  To my great surprise, Ms.X wanted KFC.  As a matter of fact, nothing but KFC would do.  I was a bit shocked but told her that I would oblige her as long as I was not accused of being the person responsible for her fall off the wagon.   So off we went (there were 3 of us) and we went and bought some chicken.  We bought more chicken then was necessary for three youngish ladies -- especially for three ladies trying to at least give the appearance of living a somewhat healthy lifestyle.  Naturally, there was a lot of chicken left over.  So Ms. X said to me, "Most Special K, you HAVE to take this chicken home with you.  If you leave it with me, I will eat it all and feel disgusted with myself.  At least you have a family to feed at your parent's house.  Please, save me from myself."  I can honestly say that if I were in Ms. X's predicament -- that being -- in a house, alone with some fried chicken,  I  too,  would probably succumb to the chicken and thus be disgusted with myself so naturally, I took the chicken to save my friend.  I know, I know -- I am a great friend.  haha! 

So off I am, with a bunch of fried chicken in a plastic bag.  I have a smooth ride home via the ring road -- marvelling that regardless of the so-called "boom" in Regina, I can still get anywhere in five minutes.  It was at this moment that my cell phone starts beeping: BATTERIES LOW.  When my phone does this, it is irritating and will not stop beeping every minute or so until I charge it.  Rather than listen to it, I turned my phone off.  (This information will become important later in the story).  I continue my drive and finally arrive home.

Once home, I get out of the car, cell phone in hand, and start walking towards the door.  During this short 15 step journey, my cell slips from my hand and lands inside the plastic bag containing the chicken.  I make a mental note to retrieve it later and then my brain completely erases this event from my short term memory (cue ominous music). 

Once inside, I find various members of my family hanging out in the living room.  I set the bag of chicken down on the coffee table and say, "enjoy."   My mom has told me that if/when I write about this tale, I am not allowed to describe this as a feeding frenzy because it was far more civilized.  I mean, it wasn't like a swarm of vultures descended on the chicken... but to not refer to it as a feeding frenzy makes the story less funny.  So in the spirit of keeping this tale ridiculously funny -- it was a feeding frenzy.  Chicken now consumed, there was a mess to clean up so I put the garbage into the plastic bag and threw it in the garbage.  

Enter the next day:

I awake for the day and prepare to go about my business.  I am momentarily worried as I cannot find my cell phone.  I search my short term memory, trying to catch a glimpse of my cell phone.  Oh -- it must be in Tim's truck -- the vehicle I had driven to Ms. X's the night before.  Here's the thing, Tim's truck was on its way to Saskatoon for the day (my dad had taken it as it was more fuel efficient than his truck)  No problem, I thought, I'll just check the truck when he gets back.

When my dad got home that night, I raced out to the truck and lo and behold... NO CELL PHONE.  

I lost my mind.  I started ranting about how my phone got sucked into the vortex of my parent's house, never to be seen again and about how I could not even call the phone as I had turned it off.  After my tirade, which was long-winded and intense, I went off to my basement bedroom to sulk.

That's when I heard the laughter.

Apparently my dad, unmoved by my complete melt-down, had started to mock me.  He was telling the rest of my family that the reason I couldn't find my phone was because I must have eaten it during the chicken feeding frenzy.  Everyone was laughing hysterically.  Normally, I would have been irritated at my dad for his comments but on this day I could have hugged him!  When he had said the word, "chicken," my memory was jogged and I suddenly had this recollection of my cell phone sliding into the plastic bag I had thrown out the night before....

I frantically screeched, "Was today a garbage pick-up day???"  My mom replied in the negative.  Then I raced outside and dug through the garbage container on my parents drive-way while my parents and siblings howled with laughter.  Laughter that turned into shrieks, peals and wheezy coughs when I discovered my cell phone among the trash.   

And that, my dear friends, is how the Colonel almost lost my cell phone.

As if throwing a kick-ass kids party wasn't enough for one weekend, Tess (with my help) hosted a wedding shower for our friend Linda on Sunday.  

It was very nice and I'm happy to say that everything went smoothly.  Between the two of us, we've now hosted a few showers (both wedding and baby) and we have a collection of fun and wonderful games that will not make your guests groan or shudder in horror.  My sister is not much of a "people" person but she ran the show very admirably yesterday... I was so proud of her!!  (Aww, sisterly pride)  Tess is in the wedding party and can now destress for a day before things get hectic again.  

Here is the host with the bride.  (check out that bun in the oven... or should I say, Taco!)

I have a few more pictures.. not many.. you can check them out here if you want.

Harry had his kid party this weekend.  It was pure insanity.  Tess and Geoff, being very creative and artsy fartsy souls, decided to give the kid a "Mario" themed party.  Alas, there is not much pre-made party stuff with this theme so they had to create a lot of it themselves.  For starters, they made box cars for Mario Kart races -- they were really cool!!

Geoff even dressed up as Chain Chomp.  It was awesome to behold!

Have a look at a race - pure hilarity. The kids had to race to the tree, avoid chain chomp, pick up a water balloon, then run to me and high five me before they could throw their water balloon.  I got soaked but Geoff got soaked and took a beating! He was a really good sport.

Then the cake -- it was created by my aunt.  It was ridiculously cool and delicious.  

There was much much more -- they made headbands/hats, they tie-dyed t-shirts, they ate good food.  I want a party like this for my birthday!!  Well, maybe not but it was still really really cool.

Ahh, to be a kid again!

You know it's crazy but I've just seen my first week in Regina fly by.  There is so much going on and without sounding too narcissistic, my presence here seems to evoke some crazy hysteria and I find myself torn as I can't spend time with everyone.  Last night, as I ditched my brother Joey for the third night in a row -- this time to watch a movie with my much scarier sister (partly due to her crazy overly-emotional and pregnant state and yet partly not) he proclaimed, "errrrrr permanently ditched," and it pulled at the heartstrings. So I found myself, for the 7th night straight, staying up to the wee hours of the morning trying to give him some time - which wasn't hard -- we had started watching Arrested Development while they were in Toronto and now we are nearing the end of season three and it is so funny... we keep (sadly and yet hilariously) finding parallels between the characters in the show and members of our insane family.   The crux is that I am exhausted.  E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D.  

This morning I'm hiding in the basement trying to enjoy a morning to myself.  I have to pay a few bills and upload a few pictures to flickr (I started a July 2008 set that will be continually updated as soon as I get into a groove here) and I felt it was time to update my blog as a lot has been happening so here we go!

I arrived here in the city that rhymes with fun via airplane... the original plan had been to drive but a last minute seat sale (after fees hardly a deal) changed that plan as three days in a car versus 3 hours on a plane is not a hard decision to make.  I watched the movie Definitely Maybe on the plane and thought it was a super cute film.  Me liked.  We arrived the day before my nephew Harrison's birthday so there was much to do.  He turned 5.  I think 5 is a big deal, it is sort of a milestone -- that shift from little person to school-aged person.  I should mention that at the end of June he had a practice kindergarten day and LOVED it.  My sister said he was the last kid to leave.  Anyhow, continuing with my tale...

Harry and I have a special bond.  He loves me and I love him, pretty simple.  It does seem to grate on everyone's nerves though as we both turn into silly monkeys when together and I can see how some people (non fun ones - haha) could find us irritating but I don't care, I am "Super Auntie," and will continue to spoil him as much as possible while I am here. 

We had a little family party for him on the actual day.  He got spoiled -- a Wii, about 8 Wii games (including the super fun Wii Mario Kart that auntie has only played once and sucked hardcore at) and lots more.  He is really into Webkinz (auntie doesn't get this) and now has 4 of them -- I was sad as he named them cute things, for example, the cow is "Cowie" and the monkey is "Monkey Dunkey".  I was hoping he'd name 2 of them Taco and Burrito... which brings us back to his pregnant mother.

T

My sister is pregnant again.  As a matter of fact, she is well into her 7th month and has a big baby bump that she begrudgingly lets me touch and talk to.  She has had crazy Mexican cravings with this child (another boy by the way) and has eaten at Taco del Mar (both locations) so often that the staff there now greet her warmly and with much enthusiasm!!  Being the jackass that I am, I have proposed that the baby be named, Taco, which everyone minus my sister thinks is highly amusing.  I have been teasing her mercilessly. Haha - so evil!   I am hardly the only one that has funny name suggestions... my mother, being a Beatle loving hippie wants him named George (George & Harrison) and Geoff's sister has proposed the name Ford (Harrison & Ford).  As long as T & G avoid naming their baby things like Sunbeam, Earthling, Zucchini, etc... I am sure he'll be welcomed into the fold without too much harassment.

This past weekend was spent at my sister-in-laws babysitting my super cute niece, Ashley.

If in procreating I can be assured of a child as sweet and well-mannered as this 20 month old, I will apply to Neil immediately and begin the  baby-making process (eww, was that too much information?).  Alas, I know it is not that simple nor painless for that matter (my biggest problem) and thus will continue to take joy and fulfillment from my niece and nephew(s).   My sister-in-law was out braving the crazy weather at Craven and I was braving uncharted territory being alone with an toddler.  I more than survived, I really enjoyed my weekend bonding with my niece.  I learned a few things: One, I am probably ready to have kids (my heart says yes but my brain and body scream 'are you crazy!!!').  Two: I dislike Mr. Potato Head. I had always wanted a Mr. Potato Head when I was a kid.  It is one of Ashley's favourite toys and I watched her assemble it about 700 times over the weekend and now I have no desire to ever see Mr. Potato Head ever again - haha!  Three:  My niece is incredibly smart.  Ashley is just starting to talk and I could only make out a few words but she was always able to communicate to me her pleasure or displeasure.  I even bravely took her out for supper to Houston Pizza with me one night and she was super!  No tantrums with auntie and that is really impressive as I don't see her very often and so in some respects, I am very much a stranger to her.  She was such a good little girl!  

So now are you thinking, 'well, that doesn't sound too crazy?'  On top of all of this -- Tess (with my help) is hosting a wedding shower for our friend Linda.  We are also doing the decorating for her wedding next weekend and between making favours, shower invites and games, etc we are slowly losing our minds at the enormity of it all.  This wedding is not your typical wedding either as it has 2 ceremonies.  One Hindu and one traditional.  Personally, I think it will be very neat to behold but getting there is another thing.  Tess, being pregnant, has run into snag after snag with getting her dresses made (one is a sari!!).  Her bridesmaid dress is done but the sari people royally screwed her over and if I could, I would go wring these ladies necks as they were so completely unprofessional.  Here's the gist:  Tess gets the name of a sari maker, meets with the ladies and they agree to make it -- she gives them the material.  Three months later on July 2nd (wedding July 26th), they call her and say that they are too busy and won't have time to make it.  How completely unprofessional -- why take it on if they cannot finish it and why keep her material for THREE MONTHS thus pretty much ensuring she is screwed!!   Anyhow, my mom is now making the sari and this is going to be interesting. Fingers crossed.

This weekend is Harry's kid birthday party (Mario theme) and the wedding shower is Sunday.  Tess and I have 4 separate lists that we are going to attempt to conquer this afternoon.  Wish us luck!

btw -- check out my newest photoshopped creation for Harry`s birthday party.  Pretty Awesome.