What a week!  I was home sick this week and if that wasn't bad enough,   I got a call from my doctor to come in immediately to discuss my genetic screening results.  I had agreed to do some testing early in my pregnancy to screen for things like Down's Syndrome and Spina Bifida.  I assumed from the, "come to my office immediately,"  that my results were likely to be unpleasant.

I was right.  I found out that I had screened positive for Down's Syndrome.  Now, this does not mean that my baby has Down's Syndrome.  It just means that I am more at risk to having a child with Down's as opposed to the norm for my age.  At my age, there is a 1/568 chance of a child with Down's.  My results came back 1/166.  Anything that  screens lower than 1/200 is considered a positive screen and thus you are considered more at risk.  Now that sounds really scary, but the numbers and the odds of having a less than perfectly healthy child are still incredibly small.  1/560 is a 0.2% chance of a problem and 1/166 is 0.6% chance of a problem.

All this means is that I have to decide whether I want to do further testing.  It is a lot to take in.  I went from panicked, to unclear, to calm.  At this time, there is no point in over-reacting or being stressed.  That will just ramp up my blood pressure.  The test that is being suggested is called an amniocentesis.   Essentially, they want to stick a big needle into my abdomen to collect some amniotic fluid to analyze.  This test will determine accurately whether my baby is fine or has Down's Syndrome.  The test itself is supposedly done routinely now and the risk of harm to you or the baby is low but it is not 100% risk free.  There is a 1/600 - 1/800 chance of miscarriage.  The doctors further complicate your decision by then saying that given the odds there is something wrong with the baby (very very small), if you did decide to do the procedure and there is a problem, chances are you'll be miscarrying a perfectly healthy baby.  

It is a big numbers game.  The risk of miscarriage with an amniocentesis is even smaller than the risk of a baby with a genetic disorder but is any chance of miscarriage worth knowing 100% for sure that the baby is fine when I've already been told there is a 99.4% chance everything is fine???  Confusing, no?

Anyhow, we are holding off on extra testing for now.  I have my second trimester ultrasound next week.  Apparently, this time they will scan for "soft markers" or physical characteristics associated with chromosomal problems.  I've been told that if my ultrasound turns up nothing that my risk level diminishes substantially to the point I'd no longer be considered at risk.  On the other hand, if they do see something, it may still mean nothing, but my risk factor will rise and I will likely opt for the big needle in my belly.

So yeah, this has been my week.  

First off, it is not my intention to let this turn into a baby blog -- but to discuss things happening in my life right now means I have to discuss this little alien being floating around in my uterus.

I have taken to walking around the house and proclaiming randomly and in amazement, " Hey N, there's a baby in here,"  while rubbing my belly.  I have to say that I'm not sure it really sank in until this past Monday (Jan. 11).

On Monday. I had my 16 week (16 week 5 days) appointment at my doctor's.  The waiting room was filled with mommies that were very pregnant -- way more pregnant than myself.  You'd think this would feel like a nurturing environment but I have to tell you -- it felt hostile.  I felt immediately sized up.  It was a weird feeling -- let's just leave it at that.

My appointment went like this.  I enter the waiting room, am sized up by hostile mommies.  I take a pee stick (technical term) and go do my own urine test -- it's normal.  I weigh in and am surprised and elated to discover that I lost weight over Christmas -- hooray for Cuba and their terrible, terrible food!!  [As an aside, when you are a sturdy person like myself, gaining weight while pregnant isn't as essential as when you are a waif.  I've been told to maintain my weight for now and to aim for 20 pounds max.]  My blood pressure was taken.  It was elevated - naturally (I really dislike going to the doctor).  I mention that I took my BP while on holiday in Regina at my mother-in-law's and that it was all over the place... sometimes normal, sometimes high.  The next thing I know, I am being told to buy myself a BP machine and being referred to a BP specialist. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Next, out comes the Doppler.  It's time to hear the baby's heart beat.  This process is very similar to an ultrasound.  You lie back, they put cold jelly on your belly and they they run this sensor thing over your belly to search for the baby's heart beat.  Well, my doctor searched and searched and searched.  No heart beat.  Great right?? Like my BP wasn't already elevated. 

So before I know what is happening, I am being whisked down the hall to the ultrasound lab and told they are going to squeeze me in after lunch so that we can make sure the baby is ok.  

N met me for lunch that day (Fran's) and I marvelled at how fast my appointment that morning had been [15 min] and yet how much info had been passed forth - my mind was seriously spinning.  

We both headed back to the ultrasound lab.  I got in right away and within seconds, I knew that the baby was fine (HB of 154 beats per minute - which is in the normal range).  Apparently, the placenta was in such a place as to make hearing the HB via Doppler difficult -- sorry if that was too much info.  They played the heartbeat for us - a whole whopping 3 seconds of it -- ultrasound technicians are not exactly what I would call warm.   At that very moment, I had my first a-ha! moment. It went like this, "Holy shit, there is a baby in there!"  and for the first time since peeing on a stick in October, I truly believed/knew I was pregnant.  This was not an elaborate dream.

Getting back to my BP -- since buying a machine on Tuesday, I have had normal readings all week.  Hopefully this means my BP is fine.  I get to fax a week's worth of readings to my doctor next Tuesday so we'll see if she says all is well.

After Christmas holidays we ventured to Varadero, Cuba.  We were looking for some sun and relaxation.   Relaxation we found. Sun we got sporadically.

Cuba was a mixed bag.  On one hand, the beach was beautiful. 

Our resort was very nice. 

The culture was interesting. 

The food though -- hands down awful.  Maybe it was my delicate state but I really had a hard time with the food.  It wasn't always easy to determine what you were eating - N claimed at least twice to be unable to determine what kind of meat he was chewing.  The food was bland and always the same everyday.  Even the fruit was disappointing... nothing was in season and even when not ripe, it was put out to be consumed.  Everything was cold and very very bland.  Further, if I had been able to tie one on, I would have grown tired of Pina coladas very quickly since I'm not a beer drinker.  There was just no variety at all to choose from.  This in my mind is probably the single biggest reason I would not go back to Cuba unless the price was amazing.  I think that you can get much better in the Caribbean elsewhere for similar prices.

That said, everything wasn't all bad.  I really enjoyed our day trip into Havana. 

We had a walking tour through old Havana, followed by lunch at a fancy hotel where the roof-top restaurant offered spectacular coastal views. 

Afterward we ventured through a rum and cigar shop and checked out the parking lot that is their Revolutionary Square.

Then we had time to wander near Centro Habano to take in the El Capitolio and the Great Theatre before heading back to Varadero.

Unfortunately, the three days after our foray into Havana were cold.  Not cold by Canadian standards but at 19 degrees celcius with a nasty wind by the water, we spent the remainder of our trip like this:

If you're interested, the rest of our Cuba pics can be found here.

Note to self:

If we do go back to Cuba:  Must read Hemingway.  Also, pre-trip,  spend four hours watching Benicio del Toro as Che.