Let me start by clarifying: I love my baby.  I am not depressed.  There is no strait jacket in my future - I think ;)  That doesn't mean my first week with Alex was all sunshine and roses.   In fact, the first week was pretty awful.   None of this was my little angel's fault.  Hormones, lack of sleep, inexperience, and a myriad of other issues led to a bit of a rocky start to this ride called parenthood.

For starters, I was still pretty high/ out of it the next day.  N has told me things that I have little to no recollection of.  For example, sometime during my labour I called my dad on my cell phone to tell him I was heavily medicated? Hilarious!

I was also in a lot of pain and getting in and out of bed was unpleasant.  Sitting was unpleasant too.  Movement in general was trying.  I've never felt so dependent on the help of others... Neil, my mother-in-law, nurses, etc. [Aside] Speaking of my mother-in-law, she arrived on June 30th expecting a grandson.  Instead, he's born on July 6 and she had to fly home before we were discharged from the hospital. What a visit!

The first two nights we were in a semi-private room.  This was uncomfortable for many reasons; most notably because Alex screamed non-stop these first 2 nights and we got no sleep.  None.  Zero. Ziltch.  I'm sure our room-mates hated us.  I know the people on the second night did... they conversed openly about their regret at being too cheap to spring for a private room.  This agitated me greatly.  They were hardly quiet with their non-stop noisy visitors.  Not to mention the fact that their baby was having projectile vomiting episodes and was at times as agitated as Alex.  I requested a private room for the 3rd night.  We will never do semi-private again.

Then, we discovered the non-stop screaming was linked to my lack of milk production.  I wasn't feeding him enough and my milk hadn't come in yet.  He lost 9.9% of his body weight over the first 3 days.  We were flagged as having feeding issues and sent to a lactation consultant.  I ended up pumping to stimulate breast milk production and we had to supplement with formula and expressed breast milk for a few days. Finger-feeding with a tube led to other problems.  He stopped latching because he could get milk faster through the tube... it was a big circus but I'm glad to say multiple trips to a lactation consultant and we are now exclusively breast-feeding again.

Finger-feeding Alex

Last, while I can appreciate all the work that nurses are responsible for, I hated 8 of the 12 nurses I was assigned during my hospital stay.  Conflicting information, subpar assistance, and no continuity of care.  Case in point, one would say pump then the shift change would come and I'd be told not to pump.  One nurse said we couldn't be discharged due to the baby's weight loss, the next nurse got the discharge process started and gave away our private room.  Neil at this point had to step in and chat with the head nurse... and no, we weren't allowed to leave but no one seemed to know what was going on... FRUSTRATING!

Finally, I got to go home.  Home never looked and felt so good. 

Fun Fact:  The average hospital stay for delivering a baby at Women's College Hospital in Toronto is 36 hours.  My stay was 84 hours.

With one day left before my due date there was really only one song to use for this post.

I am beyond ready.  My house is clean.  We have all the baby-related stuff we need - at least that we can think of or know about.  N and I are just waiting.  Sometimes impatiently but sometimes it is nice to just kick back and enjoy this calm period.

3 days to go

Yesterday we were out and about.  We went to Boom for breakfast (on St. Clair in Corso Italia) and were just exiting when the Brazil/Portugal match ended and we ended up engulfed in the crazy pandemonium that only happens when the World Cup is on... people excited about a 0-0 draw.  We spent the whole day together doing mundane things together like buying toilet paper at Walmart and shopping for fancy coffee makers. Mundane tasks will be much more of an adventure with junior in tow.

In the headlines of course is the G8/G20 summits that are being held right here in Huntsford and Toronto.  This has caused us a bit of anxiety as my due date is Sunday June 27, 2010 and the G20 will be on in Toronto.  My hospital is Women's College Hospital and it is right smack in the middle of the protest zone.  We've been warned that getting to the hospital will be tricky and to give ourselves extra time.  What does that even mean?? How can you give yourself more time?  Sometimes labour lasts forever and sometimes it moves quickly.  I am currently thinking that the baby being a few days late will be a good thing. Yesterday, the protests were quite big and also were blocking our planned hospital route that had been suggested by my doctor.  She had suggested coming down to the hospital from the east (away from the official protest site at Queen's Park which is west of the hospital).  The first picture seen from this link shows the scene at Yonge and College yesterday afternoon -- this IS directly east of the hospital. Yikes!

We are taking it easy today.  Next post will likely be after the baby arrives.  It feels like the end of an era.  It won't be just about "me" anymore. 

Obviously there was only one song appropriate this week:

I am officially finished with work.  Yesterday was my last day.  Now, we wait for this munchkin to get here.

I think I have been feeling more Braxton Hicks.  Last night I woke up in pain and could not get back to sleep for about 45 minutes.  Freaked me out a bit.  Still, nothing that is consistent and really, I am still a couple of weeks to my due date.  This is week 38 and the baby is term though so who knows... my doctor keeps asking me every appointment if I plan to see her next week - very cheeky of her.  I keep telling her, "yes!"  I am so not ready for the reality of this baby!!! Well, I am and I'm not.  Some days I'm like come out already!!  Others, I'm like, take your time, kiddo.

I have been finding it very difficult to get out of bed (to roll over), to get up off the couch, etc. 

Hey Neil, can you give me a hand?? I'm stuck here.

Neil thinks this is hilarious.  Yesterday, after realizing I couldn't get up, he grabbed the camera and began to take pictures of my girth from various angles.  Here's a different view:

I was mildly amused.  He's taken way worse so I will allow these ones.

Nothing else new to report.  I just came in from potting some planters.  Ran out of potting soil so it looks like I'll have to run out to get some.  N is still trying to figure out our home server.  I got some new stamps and crafting stuff this week so I think I might get my craft on this afternoon. Have a few nursery projects in mind and I have to make a birthday card and I guess a Father's Day card, just in case... N had the audacity to remind me that it was possible for this June 20th to be his first Father's Day!

This week's video:

Well, I am now into week 37 of this pregnancy.  A lot has happened since my last baby post so here goes....

N and I finished our pre-natal parenting classes.  I actually enjoyed them.  The hospital tour was traumatic... hospital is old thus facilities are not like what we witnessed in the labour videos we had previously seen.  We saw a woman arrive clearly in active labour (and what appeared to be tremendous pain). It did not ease my fears.  All in all though, I think I am as ready for labour as you can be, which is to say, not really ready at all. At our last class, every couple was given a doll.  We were taught how to hold our babies and then directed through a breast feeding tutorial.  N was really sweet - he held our fake baby properly the entire three hours!  I tried to snap a picture but he refused to cooperate - but take my word for it, it was a cute scene.  Last, to round out this journey, our instructor is planning to get all us first-time parents back together in August for a "baby reunion" and that may be interesting.  Not sure if we'll be around as we are planning to be at N's sister's wedding in Regina at the end of August but we'll see what happens.

Weekend to-do lists are starting to thin.  We have everything we need, I think.  This weekend's list seems lighter than the past few... install car seat, set up baby monitor, a few items left to throw into storage, etc.  Manageable. Last weekend we installed some shelves near our baby's "change station" and well -- N and I are not handy at all but I think they look pretty good.

36 weeks

My doctor's appointments have been ok.  I don't need to see my BP specialist again until a week after I deliver.  She's happy my blood pressure hasn't skyrocketed the last few weeks. 

I am not going for a 4th ultrasound until after I deliver -- they think I may have a cyst on one of my ovaries (something registered on my last ultrasound) but I have been told not to worry about it as this kind of thing is common and almost always resolves itself.  Still, I do need to follow-up with more appointments after I deliver to be certain.  I was told that baby is head down (good) and borderline big (not sure if that is good or bad??).  I'm going to say it is good.  I've gained 14 pounds so far and so that just means the added weight is mostly baby.  Maybe I'll come out of this lighter... I can live with that!

We have a potentially interesting/disturbing situation to contend with the week I am due.  The G20 summit is in Toronto that week and the downtown is going to be shut down.  I mean a HUGE area of the downtown will actually be fenced off and inaccessible to the public.  What worries me most, is that they have announced that the "official protest area" is to be at Queen's Park (the Ontario Legislature) and this is one block from the hospital I will be trying to get to.  They keep talking about how the last G20, held in Pittsburgh, was marred by three days of angry protests, clashes with police and tear gas.  In fact, the concern is so great, that the U of Toronto -- 2 blocks in the other direction from Queen's Park is closing down campus during the summit and relocating all students that live on campus for the duration of the week. This means that N will be working from home those days, which is nice for me, but does nothing to relieve concerns that we will have one hellish trek to the hospital.  Parking is bad enough in the area when there are no angry, insane, protesters marching down city streets disrupting the peace. We could take transit but they are warning of major disruptions on all forms of transportation in and out of this area.  So... all I can say is that should this baby arrive on time, we will have one hell of a story to tell about how exactly we got to the hospital and what we witnessed en route. 

View

Hmm.. that may be it.  Until next week!

N said to add that this is what we hope to encounter en route to the hospital!

Here's baby's new favourite clip. N and I re-watched Almost Famous a while back -- so good.

Week 34 is almost at an end.  Here's how round I've gotten.

Yesterday in particular, my extra roundness prompted some interesting questions amoung some feisty first graders.  Evasive tactics were applied.  It just didn't feel appropriate to be fielding questions like, " how long has that baby been in there?" and "how are you going to get that baby out of there?"  Not to mention my personal fave, "why do you want to have a baby?"

Everything has been moving along in a blur.  Last weekend, we started to assemble the nursery.  Crib and changing table area were created.  There is a lot of work still to do but it is coming along nicely.  Have a look:

We've also already finished 2 of 4, "first-time" baby classes we are taking at the hospital.  Last week, we watched 2 video-taped births and it was all I could do to not vomit after seeing the first one.  By the end of it I was in tears and they were not tears of happiness -- they were tears of fear.  I didn't even manage to make it through the second video, I found a nice piece of floor to focus on and practiced "breathing".   I go through bouts of crazy paranoia about delivering my little tiny dancer... but I am sure I'll survive.  Women have been having babies since the beginning of humankind... though after that first video I do question why... but I digress and will now tell the baby in my belly that I love him so to not scar my child before he arrives. You will be worth it! You will be worth it!  You will be worth it!  Tomorrow is class #3 -- the hospital tour.  Cannot foresee this being overly traumatic.

We've got lots to do around the house this weekend.  N is installing our new computer/home server.  We are going wireless, baby! Finally I'll be able to access all of our TV, movies, pictures, etc without plugging into the external hard drives.  It won't be as fun as camping last year but we'll survive -- besides camping with the little rug-rat next year is something I'm actually looking forward to!

Have a good May long weekend everyone!

K